Sunday, March 15, 2009

the heart of the matter

I'm having one of those weekends where my children are driving me nuts...nuts I tell you. There has been incessant whining, bickering, badgering, stubbornness and downright disobedience and flippancy. AAAARRGGGHHH! Of course I was also trying to finish a project for a fundraiser at the elementary school (post on that later once I get photos taken...very proud of my creation!). What is this built in radar that children come equipped with that moves them to push all of your buttons when you are OBVIOUSLY trying to accomplish something important that requires a bit of your brain power!? I could go on but then it will simply become the whining of a bedraggled, tired mommy! Who wants to listen to that?

Instead I will jump ahead to the lesson of which I became student this evening. In the back of my mind...when my children are whining and so on...I realize that two things are present....they are one, normally tired and two, in desperate need of one on one attention. Some loving, encouragement and just knowing that mommy sees them, loves them and knows they are special. Being solely focused on a creative process can leave me closing my eyes to their needs.

Finally, I stopped and spent that time with my youngest. We cuddled in bed, he with his headlamp on (he loves to read bedtime stories this way...makes it much more adventurous) and me simply lying beside him taking in all of his loveliness. Less than an hour ago he was driving me crazy and yet I was lying here breathing in his spirit of innocence, laughter and simply the need to be shown love. My heart in that very moment was so full of love for him that I simply don't have words to describe.

Here's the clincher...suddenly my mind opened and I realized that I am this same child with my God. Whiny, stubborn, belligerent, bickering, disobedient and flippant! God is watching me, loving me...knowing exactly what I need. Patiently waiting for me to stop, climb up in His lap, lay my head on His shoulder and breathe deep the fragrance of His incredible, never ending, passionate love for me. Despite the ugly behavior....He loves me....He waits for me...He delights in me.

God will never stop using my children to teach me...I am forever grateful!


jankr said...

I love you. You are precious and so insightful. M.J.

Jessica said...


jankr said...

Great! save these blogs, you can use them in your book someday.