I've been fighting it the last few weeks. You know..that panic that starts to creep up as you catch the holiday displays going up in the stores...Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all lined up next to each other like diligent soldiers waiting their turn to do battle. Perhaps not the best analogy.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the holiday season! Unfortunately, I find that my desire for perfection tends to kick in at the first sign of pumpkins and tinsel. I am then left to fight the angst of finding the "perfect" everything to celebrate and create the best Norman Rockwell holidays EVER.
Silly ol' me. It hit me hard the other night, when we started decorating for Christmas. Let...it...go. The boys and Daddy were outside wrestling lights to the front of the house. Ben was complaining because he wasn't getting enough time on the ladder so I asked him to come inside and help me with some decorating. We have a collection of snowmen and Santas that go up every year and this year I wanted to put them on the credenza behind the couch. I had a plan..a specific plan...a designer/home interior plan. You know "perfect".
Ben started putting up a small Christmas village in the snowman territory....leaving very little space on the snowman side. I started to rearrange things. He stopped, dropped his hands in frustration and said, "Fine, you don't need my help. You just want everything YOUR way!" the exclamation made as he skulked away.
Ouch! It's not all about me...not all about a "perfect" celebration. I realized quickly that I need to stop and view it all from my kids perspective. It doesn't matter how designer perfect the decorations are...the ornaments we pull out once a year, the collection of Santas and snowmen have special stories and make things festive no matter how they are hung on the tree or lined up on a shelf. I need to back off and let them use their creativity, which I cherish and celebrate, to help create our family holiday.
The panic is beginning to subside and be replaced with the smile in my heart as I watch my boys begin to engage in making our holiday warm, funny and exciting. Yea, our family holiday. Simple, beautiful and just like the star at the top of our tree...a little off center!
