The grumpies snuck up on me again today. It has taken me awhile to fight them back. This evening I spent some time reflecting on the two "rays of sunshine" that tend to light my way out of my funks. I'm constantly reminded of how quickly time flies; how quickly children today are forced to take on adult roles. War, poverty and homelessness drive children out of the sweetness of childhood into the stress and worry of adult life. Even on the other spectrum the pressure of performance, success and politically correct schedules keep children from enjoying the freedom and joy that childhood play creates.
I tend to wallow in self-pity about all I'm "doing" for the good of the family. Trying to create the perfect home, learning environment, spiritual base for the boys. It's not in the doing is it? It's in the being. Being in the moment. Being available to laugh, cry, have water fights, hug, snuggle and play make-believe.
Time is speeding by...soon I will have more time on my hands than I know what to do with...I will long for muddy feet running through the kitchen, someone to beg me to play Legos, wanting to "help make" in the kitchen. I will strain to hear voices ask me to stay in bed and snuggle for "5 more times".
Next month my baby turns 4. School will be a part of each day. Older brother will enter his lifelong relationship with education.
Dear Lord, may I be faithful with these incredible creatures you've entrusted to me. May I show love, patience, self-control. May I guide, direct and encourage hearts so open and vulnerable. I know that I will only hold them briefly...You, Lord, have them for an eternity...may I be faithful.