H O M E

Okay, it's been quite awhile since I've posted. Chalk it up to the crazies...just too much going on and I'm exhausted by the time everyone is in bed. However, I received a phone call from my sweet niece G and she stated that it had been far too long since I've posted and I really needed something new up and running. (I agree G...I am ashamed at how long it has been...and I've decided that I need to make blogging a regular part of my routine.)

So what to blog about? Not the crazies...no...too crazy!? No...tonite I had another sweet interlude with one of my boys that really makes the crazies a distant memory.

It's been busy and I can tell that the insanity of things has begun to take its toll on the boys. They're wild, unfocused, grumpy...over it basically. So after we managed to wrestle them into bed I had a brief moment with both.

Tonight I had the opportunity to share with J about the last home my parents owned prior to their "retirement" condo. This was the home my brother, sister and I grew up in from elementary through college and my sister, marriage. It was a great house. Full of incredible memories and as I started to tell J story after story about the house I began to feel an ache for the past. The waterfall and pond my dad built that we would hang out around in the cool of the summer evenings. The porch with the glider swing, where you could take a nap during an afternoon rainshower. The view...wow...the view of the complete Colorado mountian range. The hill on the side of the house where we used to sled...cool! I miss that house.

But it's not just the house I miss. I realize that I miss the home. These days I sense myself full of dissatisfaction over what my house doesn't have in size, shape, texture...whatever. Then I remember that old house had many a foible but as a child..I don't remember any of it. I simply remember how being there made me feel....safe, loved, warm...home. That doesn't have anything to do with location, texture, size and shape....it has to do with the heart of the home. The family that resides within the walls of the structure.

It hit me tonight that I am missing the point as I try to creat the "perfect" home. It's not achieving the glossy magazine cover look. It boils down to how the heart of our home wraps its arms around us and draws us together. What memories are we building? Are we stretching wide the arms of our home and letting it embrace others? Does our home live and breathe?

Honestly, this wasn't the post I intended to write tonight...it has somewhat taken on a life of its own. As I have written these words from my heart I am moved to stop and think seriously about the "home" I'm creating....the memories I'm leaving with my boys...I truly want our home to embrace them...to love them and give them a sense of peace and restfulness. I'm praying that as I go into the busy holiday season I will stretch myself beyond the need for "perfection" and rest peacefully at the heart of our home.

Once a Mom, Always a Mom

As usual it has been forever since I've blogged. Well, what can I say, life has a tendency to get in the way and before you know it, a month has passed and my blog sits lonely and outdated!

The most recent activity in life has included a wonderful visit from my parents, starting a new part-time job and traveling for a weekend of performing (I'll get into that on another post entitled, "I Was a Rock Star for a Weekend"). Can I just share with you how much I love my parents? They are the most loving, fun, creative and selfless people I know and I am truly blessed to have them as my parents.
They have been here for almost 4 weeks; loving us, cleaning, cooking, keeping us all in line, caring for my kids while I was out of town, and helping a frazzled mommy get organized!

At times my mother and I will butt heads, briefly. Gone are the days of long drawn out arguments and silent treatment of my teen years. Why did I ever think that they knew nothing and I knew everything? You see, now I understand what it means to be a mom, to feel the pain when your child is hurting or frustrated, to always want to help, to fix, to soothe, even when they may need to do it all on their own. It's amazing how the moment you enter motherhood the playing field is leveled and you begin to have a greater understanding of your parents. Whether or not your relationship is positive or negative, you begin a journey that is a roller coaster ride of the past and present colliding at the intersections of you life.

I thank the Lord that I have had incredible, real examples of humans striving to be the best parents they now how to be, by God's grace. Thank you mom and dad for all of your love, support and guidance, past, present and future. You have been my Jesus with skin on. I love you, always and forever!

Welcome Seester!

I'm so happy to have drug my lovely seester into the world of blogging. I'm looking forward to some great posts! Be sure to check her out at http://www.greenseester.blogspot.com/ .

I would like to take this opportunity to brag on my dearest seester. She is one incredible lady. (She'll probably kill me for the above posted photo, but the truth be told I think is represents her quite well...friendly, cheerful, kind, fun and funny.) She is always there to help; physically, emotionally and spiritually. We have the best times together. (the teen years were a bit rough...there was some hand-to-hand combat regarding wardrobe sharing...not so much any more...now we just deal blows at the thrift store over who gets the good shoes!)

I love her so much and have to say that she is definitely my very bestest friend forever (BFF!). I simply love hanging out with her. She is an awesome wife and mother, incredible volunteer (this girl can get things done!), great friend to many, wildly creative and talented and a delightful child of God. I am proud to call her "seester".

It is my prayer as that someday we will have the opportunity to live closer to one another. Ever since I got married we have lived very far apart. I miss her soooooo much. Honestly, there are many days I wish that I could just drop by her house...or meet her down at the best thrifting spots or have a regular Saturday morning coffee and garage sale date. Our geographical distance is one of my greatest sadnesses. My sister brings me such joy and I love her so incredibly much.

My lovely seester...I love you with all of my heart! I always will...thank you for always loving me! - your big sis -J

No a-Way!

My youngest has picked up a new expression...instead of "No Way!" (which I believe may be one of my favorite verbal reactions to anything they say that is relatively exciting) he will exclaim, very passionately, "No a-Way!" The first time I heard it I asked him to repeat it..and sure enough there was the "a" in front of the "way". Makes me smile everytime I think about it!

The transition to school has been steady. Today was in fact the first day B actually entered his classroom, hung up his backpack and sat in his chair to start the day. Our normal routine last week was..."mommy, drop me off by the door and tell Miss Christa not to touch me." I then left to him crying either on the floor by the door or on the floor in some other random part of the room. But today, he marched in confidently and told Miss Christa, "I'm not shy anymore!" Well, hallelujah and hot-damn! I wish I could share some incredible parenting tip that brought about this change, however, I seriously think God gave me a break because He noticed my mental health was taking a blow and I needed a pick-me-up. Now mind you...I will be holding my breath tomorrow morning...because as we all know...the planets may not be aligned properly and the wind may be blowing in the wrong direction and well that can mess everything up!

My biggest prayer is that we will make it through an entire week of school before another hurricane shows up....Hanna is starting to hammer down (I hear the rain right now)...behind her is tropical storm Ivan (?) and then Josephine is lining up nicely off the coast of the Bahamas...welcome to the beginning of school and hurricane season!

J's teacher asked for a baby picture to use on a project...I started looking through stuff...is this the same kid who confidently waltzes off to Kindergarten?

Here's Mr. "No A-way!" not even a day old....time certainly does fly....
It seems like yesterday....no a-way!