mud and pancakes

light reading

2010-10-18T23:20:00.003-04:00

I like to read. I love to read. Immersing myself in the story, oblivious to my surroundings is a favorite pasttime. I like to consider myself a reader of quality material. Even as an adult I revisit some of the classics of my youth, hoping to unfold new and exciting meaning from familiar or not so familiar stories.

Having children, more specifically boys, I find myself on a quest for reading material that will pull my young, male children into the exciting world of reading. Alas, it is not always that easy. So many books...so little time...and yet many books...not so great!

However, picture books have always held a special place in my heart. Not only the great story...but great ART! Two of my favorite things! It's hard for me not to find a picture book I don't like. And so my latest and greatest addition to a secret personal collection:

Ah, yes...I have a personal love affair with my beloved Skippyjon Jones. He and I met when B was in preschool and I have remained a HUGE fan ever since. I know...it is less than refined...it won't elevate my mind to spiritual heights...but dag-nab-it...it sure puts a smile on my face.

I love you Skippyjon...

seasons

2010-10-11T19:22:00.002-04:00

Wow! It's been months since I last posted...who knows if anyone is actually still reading. Does is really matter? I started this blog to keep my family in Colorado connected with us while we resided in Florida. Just over two whirlwind months ago we finally had the chance to relocate to Denver. I am ecstatic....exhausted, overwhelmed, emotional....and yet ecstatic.

This has been and still is a very trying season for me personally. Painful, joyful, exciting, gut wrenching...faith altering. Honestly, I find myself spending most of my time hiding in denial...afraid to let myself go into that deep place within that really sees and feels the rawness of my experiences. Feeling most times as if I enter that place I will come completely undone. Deep down I know I need to come undone...to be remade, refined by this experience...but for now I must function...so I keep myself flitting above the surface...doing laundry, making lunches, picking up dog poo, trying to keep food on the table with growing boys...you know...daily living stuff.

Soon...soon...I'll be able to find a safe place to finally let myself be with my deepest core...but for now...I'll observe the change of seasons from a safe distance. It's beautiful here....

getting ready

2010-07-06T07:17:00.005-04:00

Well, the countdown continues. Almost 3 weeks till lift off. Wow! I can hardly believe it. My sister, brother-in-law and my parents have been working tirelessly to get the apartment ready for our arrival. I am truly humbled at my sister and brother-in-law's selflessness to open their home to us. They, and my parents, are truly my 'Jesus with skin on', during this life transition.
It gets a little overwhelming, thinking about, planning and actually packing up 8 years of life in Florida to move cross country. But I am sustained by the fact that in 3 weeks I'll be living...yes, living in Colorado once again, near my family whom I love and have missed desperately. I'm excited for my small family as we look forward to not only the awesomeness of Colorado (it truly is God's country...trust me...I've seen most of the U.S. and Colorado is in the top 5) but the incredible gift of being near family. A and I didn't have the opportunity to grow up near our cousins and it is something we so desperately wanted to give our children. Now, this gift is just around the corner. Summers and Christmases spent with cousins have established a fun and wonderful relationship that we're excited to see grow.

Well, it's back to the boxes. We'll be circling the wagons soon enough and heading West young man...onto new and thrilling adventures!

itchy tongue

2010-07-05T09:22:00.004-04:00

So the other day I hear my boys in a usual conflict over some small LEGO piece. Unfortunately, it escalated and ended with the youngest dramatically crying that older brother had bit him. Biting? Seriously? No..not in my house! On a side note...my boys really have never been biters. I've heard about kids who bite regularly...(you can ask my mother about my own personal history with biting)...but J and B have rarely used this tactic in hand to hand battle. So my feathers are more than a bit ruffled when I go in to discipline the situation.

Me, "J, did you bite your brother?" J, "No, his arm was in the way" (he showed me how B was 'reaching' for LEGOs out of the ginormous bin J seemed to be clutching in his lap and how his mouth innocently ensconced B's arm) Me, "J, did your brother's arm in any way shape or form make it's way into your mouth?" J, "Well, yes" Me, "Then you bit him?" J, "No, I was just itching my tongue!"

Itching his tongue on his brother's arm.

Very creative explanation. J ended up in a time out where I explained that his explanation was unfortunately very lame. Itching your tongue on someone elses arm is actually considered biting. I'm now left wondering how to harness this creativity with words and ideas and put it to better use. Perhaps he will grow up to be a political speech writer. Just a thought!

in transition...aka limbo

2010-06-21T08:16:00.012-04:00

(boys at Star Wars weekend)

I'm having a a bit of hard time being "in transition". (Isn't this a birthing term...happening right before things get really difficult?) Just like birthing, the end result is awesome. Something I've been waiting for...years in fact...8 to be exactly! Now it's just around the corner. Starting a new chapter of our life story in Colorado.

The transition bit, though, is a little overwhelming. No bites on the house...job uncertainty...what to pack, what to get rid of (packing period....we have acquired way too much in 8 years of marriage and having children!). And yet, at my very core I have a peace. People look at me cross eyed when I say we haven't sold the house and my husband does not, in fact, have a job. I know, however, that God holds this family in the palm of His hand...the very hand that formed the world..that brought each of us into existence. Selling a house, providing a job...minor details in the great vastness of His awesomeness.

(B and Capt. Rex have us covered)

What keeps me afloat, motivated and pushing on is what lies ahead. Family, old friends, mountains, year round outdoor activities, creating with my mom and sister, cousins, Fall, Winter (I am soooooo not a Floridian...I love me some snow!), complete lack of humidity...did I mention family?

(J, the light saber welding Indiana Jones adventurer)

God provides. Always has...always will. So I will step forward in faith...knowing that my Heavenly Father has more than my back....He has my life!

I "heart" LEGOS

2010-05-26T08:25:00.011-04:00

Today I would like to take this opportunity to put in my own two cents on subject near and dear to my heart. TOYS. As a parent, I'm always trying to figure out what is the best toy purchase for my children. So many toys they want are simply flash in the pans, so to speak. They play with them for two minutes and then they find their way into the dark recesses under the beds or in the cracks of the couch. Thomas the Train was a good investment, as were Hotwheels. Endless hours were spent putting together train tracks as well as simply moving trains and cars over any surface both inside and out of the house. These are great creative toys. But I really think the overall, most brilliant, most creative toy of all time is LEGOS.

Some moms out there fear the LEGOS. I've heard it all before, "We can't have LEGOS the baby will eat them!" "We can't have LEGOS because they are too messy!" "We can't have LEGOS the dog will eat them!" "We can't have LEGOS because someone will step on them resulting in injury that may require emergency medical attention!"

May I be as bold as to say, "Your children are really missing out!" These are the only toys I find that can capture my boy's attention for ENORMOUSLY large amounts of time. They can even bridge the age gap. Case in point. We have a friends who have three children, one in fifth grade, one in seventh, and one in high school. We frequently socialize together at their house. They still have a large plastic bin of LEGOS and every time....every time...we are there, all five kids have their hands in the bin building things...from age 5 to 15.
If you don't have LEGOS in your house, I encourage you to go immediately to the store and make a purchase. You will not be sorry. Yes, the baby could in fact ingest some, so be sure to keep them on the table or use only during the baby's naptime. Yes, they can be messy. Don't even try to organize LEGOS. One of the greatest joys is to simply "dig" in and create. (I do however, try to keep a baggie for the minifigures). Yes, you may step on some and have a few choice words...but you will not have to seek professional medical attention...its never that bad.
Please consider making LEGOS your friend. Especially, if you have boys. You will experience endless hours of quiet play (excluding normal boy noises) and they really are an educational toy incognito. The creativity that you will see in your child's building will amaze you, not to mention all the spatial stuff they're doing and small motor skills, blah, blah, blah!
You never know...you might just "heart" LEGOS too!

the brother

2010-05-14T20:46:00.008-04:00

So, my recent posts have all been about big brother. But what has little brother been up to? Well, his usual antics.

He is also one crazy, funny kid. Always has a quick response that usually spreads a smile across my face and a giggle in my heart. I do have to be careful about when I laugh. He can be a sensative creature.

Here is a pic of him dressed up to attend his brother's talent show. He insisted that he "dress up" and look nice for the performance. It may have been a response to the importance of big brother's dress or "costume" for the evening and its relevance for the presentation.

This sweater vest he has on, he always asks to put it on to play outside. Each time I have to explain to him that it really wouldn't make the best play clothes. What's the big deal? you might ask, Aren't you being a little uptight about a sweatervest? Reality is, he'll wear it outside and more than likely have it, his underwear and his cowboy boots on....and then he'll find the hose (or a puddle; or a pile of dirt; or a dirty hole) and the vest will quickly be removed and I'll find it stretched over his bicycle seat or hanging from a tree being used as a catapult. These things really don't work for me when trying to keep a few nice pieces of "dress" clothes just that...nice.

He did look adorable...even when he sweat profusely because it was at least 90 degrees that night...sweaty...but adorable!

P.S. the tie really made the whole outfit!

my funny guy

2010-05-08T21:54:00.009-04:00

He did it! J did his first stand up routine. He had a little "deer in the headlights" moment when he got out front to the microphone, but once again, he regained his composure and delivered his funnies. He got quite a laugh when he put on his glasses.
The evening was fun. My heart was so full of pride and love for my boy. Of course in my biased opinion I thought J's act was refreshingly different. (There was a lot of singing and cheer/dancing...Taylor Swift and whoever that 16 year old boy with the big bangs and even bigger teeth is).

A girlfriend of mine was backstage waiting with her daughter. She said when J came backstage after performing he flopped down on his back on the floor and let out a HUGE sigh! I would have loved to have seen that!

I'm secretly hoping that the apple has not fallen far from the tree. Baby boy...you did it...and I'm so proud of you! You really can do anything you put your mind to. I love you!

Samsula's Got Talent

2010-04-27T09:21:00.003-04:00

The list came back and....drumroll please...

J made it!

My little (big) redneck comedian made the cut...

He'll be telling jokes and getting laughs one week from today! Way to go baby!

the audition

2010-04-23T19:41:00.007-04:00

I am one proud mama! My oldest had his first audition.

Several weeks ago the notice came home. "Talent Show Auditions" To my surprise J immediately expressed an interest. We discussed some options for his talent; he: "I could play the guitar" me: "you really don't know how to play the guitar" he: "I could dance to the Go Fish cd" me: "well, if you dance you need to have a specific 'routine' that goes with the music" (i.e. throwing yourself all over the livingroom to the beat of the music does not always interpret into large audience entertainment. Yes, your mother thinks it's wonderful, but it pretty much stops there!)

Finally we decided he might try his hand at delivering some jokes. It took some time to convince him that he needed to do some research and try jokes that had been prewritten as opposed to coming up with them on the fly. Last night we chose what to wear ( he wanted black shirt, pants and cape. I tried to lean him toward something with color. End result: red shirt, dark pants, camo jacket, cowboy hat and fake coke bottle glasses; you know this boy loves to 'dress the part'), we rehearsed the entrance and delivery of jokes and I handed down a few select pointers. This morning I heard his voice loud and chipper, "Mom! I'm excited!" Me, "About what?" "About my audition!"

When the time finally came he was calm as a cucumber. He surprised me with his confidence and the ability to face his nervousness and gain composure. He never waivered. He stood with confidence and delivered his three jokes. We won't know until Monday whether or not he made the cut. What an experience to watch him bloom and grow. He has no fear. He believes completely in himself and his abilities. It is overwhelmingly...beautiful to behold.

school is for learning

2010-04-14T09:36:00.005-04:00

On our way to school this morning I heard B saying from the back seat, "Hey, look what I can do! Look what I can do!" A peek in the rear view mirror showed him licking his armpit!

"J, look what I can do!" he repeated emphatically, until his brother broke his attention away from the DS he was pictochatting on..."look! I can lick my armpit!"

"So, B, where did you learn to do that?" I inquired. "Oh, G, (kid in his class) showed me how" he replied.

"Really? (no surprise on my part!) And what does your armpit taste like?"

B, "CHICKEN!"

'nough said...peace out!

something new

2010-04-01T21:59:00.003-04:00

I finally succumbed to the guilt that I had an "ugly" or rather "boring" looking blog. (Not that the pictures of my adorable children aren't enough to make everything exciting and new...) Rather, as I look around "blogland" everyone seems to have snappy backgrounds and clever links. I never seem to have time to "groom" my blog so I tried to do something about it this evening.

So what do you think? I have a hard time gaging the "readability" as I sit here at 10:00 p.m. in my pj's after taking my contacts out and am trying to read it with my coke-bottle glasses sliding down my nose! My eyes are blurry and dry and ebbing in and out of focus. Is the text too hard to read? I would not want to suffer anyone to find discomfort in reading my blog for the sake of beauty...so do tell...should it stay or go?

anchor

2010-03-24T09:31:00.008-04:00

The other night I had a moment. My youngest finally came down with the stomach bug I invited into our home over two weeks ago. (It has graciously gone from me, to my oldest, then my youngest and I'm begging God that it will leave before spending time with my husband...)

Anyway, it was early in the morning (1:00 am...ish..type of early). Little one had crawled into bed with us. I was hanging onto the 5 inches at the edge of the bed which is my sleeping space whenever children join us. So there I was, right arm lodged under the pillow my sweet baby slept on (this keeps me anchored to the bed so even though my hiney is hanging over the edge I'm still "attached" to the surface of the bed) The dog was anchoring my feet under the covers at the foot of the bed. B was snuggled up in the crook of my body and before you know it...the cat jumps on the bed and curls up on the rolling hill of my hip.

I laid there in the darkness feeling the "points" that were "anchoring" me. I kept thinking about what my body represented at that very moment. Was I furniture? or simply an extension of the furniture? I was frustrated and grouchy from lack of sleep...or the thought of lack of sleep. I mean I brought forth life from this soft, squishy, mobius, flesh covered frame? Am I nothing more than and object? I have rights!

I felt the warmth generated from the body of the youngest life form and heard his gentle breathing. He was calm and peaceful in his sleep. Her hairy highness warmed my feet, even though she was snoring, and the purring of the high priestess of hairballs was in fact soothing on my hip.

This body of mine, in all of its imperfections, for this brief moment offered the anchor of comfort...and it was good.

for sale

2010-03-15T22:04:00.004-04:00

The contents of our home have been purged (thank you mom and dad for all of your help), the exterior shined up a bit and the sign is hanging by the mailbox at the driveway entrance. It's official! We're beginning the journey to Colorado.

Today I was faced with an unexplainable emotional outburst that I struggled to explain to my boys. Prior to picking them up from school I got the call that someone wanted to see the house within the hour. I frantically rushed around picking lint out of the corners of the rooms and threw things into hiding in the washer, dryer and oven. After picking the boys up from school, I instructed them of their every move for the next 30 minutes when we reached home. They executed their moves beautifully and we (I) sat and waited the final 10 minutes in fitful anticipation of the "lookers" arrival.

The car pulled in and we immediately headed to our stations in the car. Myself dragging annoying barking dog on her leash to her coveted spot in the front passenger seat. Our eyes met...they seemed the perfect candidates...young, pregnant, country (this is a politically correct description of someone wearing camouflage as regular dress). I climbed into the car and started down the driveway chanting, "They'd be perfect!" "They'd be perfect!" ... when suddenly I burst into tears!

Both boys immediately wanted to know why I was crying? Why was I crying? It felt an enormous jumble of emotions...anxiety, happiness, fear, PMS...lots of PMS today...and anticipation. I tried to calm their worries. I tried to explain. Finally, I asked, "Have you ever felt like you have many different emotions happening all at once?"

To which J replied, "No, it's a girl thing." Guess I have my work cut out.

My own take on things. This is and will be a bittersweet process. One girlfriend mentioned that it tends to be hard to leave the home where your children were born. We did put some sweat and tears into this place. Today, I guess I realized that occasionally you have to take a few steps back in order to move forward. Here's to that dance!

bad guys and fancy houses

2010-02-15T20:32:00.004-05:00

As usual the boys and I were having a deep philosophical conversation in the car today. (Try as I may to sit on the couch, cuddle in bed or discuss these things around the dinner table...they never bite! For some reason riding in the car stirs up the great recesses of their minds...) Anyhow....J started asking about life cycles and would the world be around as we know it in the future. I began the delicate conversation about heaven and hell.

Suddenly, B asked if daddy had any real guns. "Why?", I asked. "For the bad guys", replied B, "So he could get any that might come to our house". "Oh no," quipped J, "bad guys only go to fancy houses, they won't come to our house, there's no stuff for them to get there..."

Well, I know I'll sure be sleeping better tonight...knowing the bad guys are passing me by for the 'fancy houses'.

dear bitter retired person,

2010-02-03T16:54:00.005-05:00

I'm sorry that life has left you sad and bitter. Especially toward children. Initially, I was highly irritated at your disguisted looks toward my children pushing the cart at the grocery store. My dander was raised when you rolled your eyes toward my darlings as they stood paralyzed at the wonders of an entire aisle of fruity, sugar filled cereal...eager to put at least a half dozen boxes in our cart. I never allow them to run amok. They never run through the store screaming. As much as they would like, they are not allowed to practice their latest and greatest wrestling moves in the middle of produce; because you see...they are learning!

The truth is I am desperately trying to educate them in respectful, proper behavior at heavily traffiked shopping establishments. I could keep them away, always shopping alone, until they were at a most respectful age of say...21. However, what would they learn? How will they learn to negotiate ankle biting grocery carts, canes, and the ubiquitous motorized cart? How will I be able to train them to always keep their eyes open, analyzing how to negotiate the guantlet of each and every aisle? How will I be able to train them to be respectful of all human beings unless I am out and about amongst the masses?

I don't pretend to know the hardships that life has tossed you; and I know there can and have been many difficulties. But please, can you for one brief moment, reflect back to those times when your children were young? or perhaps even to your own youth? The excitement, enthusiasm...the energy. The world is such an incredible place for a child. There is so much to see, to experience. Can you catch a glimpse of the innocence in their faces? Catch the whimsy in the lilt of their laughter? Listen. Embrace it. Don't bar yourself against it. They are not here to create discord in your life. Instead, they are here to show us all the simple joy of life.

Life is short. You know that all too well. Please don't leave this earth having wasted energy being bitter toward a young mother and her children. They could be such a gift in what might be such a bleak and difficult day. Stop. Be patient. Admire the life...enjoy.

P.S. If you still find children annoying might I suggest you do your shopping at 10:00 am....most children are at school and therefore not available to make your life miserable!

new word

2009-11-26T08:12:00.002-05:00

B is always coming up with new twists on old words. It makes me smile every time I hear him use these "new" words passionately!

B tends to be our dramatic one...I know...we can only figure out where he inherited the drama from. His favorite line to use when ever I ask him to clean up his toys is "I had a really hard day". This is delivered with the full downcast body language and sadness in his voice. Early in the game I had, of course, comforted him and asked him specifically about his day. Bingo! He now knew how to distract me...but it didn't last for long. My current response is, "I'm sorry, I know, I had a hard day too! Pick up your toys!"

Recently he has decided to try a new approach. When asked to do something A and I heard, rather emphatically, "Everyone wants to make me their SLAVE-IOR!" Yes, slave-ior...slave and savior. A and I busted up.

To be honest I feel like my family's slave-ior on a daily basis. It does however, tend to make me stop and think everytime I'm feeling overwhelmed with the day to day drudgery of running a house. Yes, at times I feel like a slave...but in truth at what point in my serving my family am I truly showing my Savior's love for my family. It can in fact change the posture of my heart when I'm feeling "slave-ish".

So to all the "slave-iors" out there keep up the good work. You may feel your work goes unnoticed...but us fellow "slave-iors" silently raise our hand to honor you!

P.S. I'm trying to come up with a good definition to submit to Webster's Dictionary for consideration of a new word. We'll see how far I get.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-30T18:59:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the quick pace through the holidays...so here's to the start of the craziness!

Oh and to not be undone...me...(actually, I told my mom this is what her upper lip will look like if she keeps shaving it...I don't care what Dr. Oz says mom...)

Have fun!

the knife

2009-10-01T21:53:00.003-04:00

It's so true that if you blink the years will fly by. My oldest will soon be 7 in just a few weeks. I, like every other mother, am getting all misty thinking about those first moments in the hospital when I gazed on this incredible creature that I now was to take home and raise. He seemed so small (not for long) and vulnerable. He needed me!

Jump ahead 7 years. He's all legs, energy and dancing to the beat of his own drum. At 7 he stands above my shoulder in my bare feet. (Current scientific growth charts project he will be as tall as I at the age of 10..thanks dad for that info!) He is growing and becoming an amazing creature.

Currently, A and I have been reading a book about masculine initiation. The author talks about the stages boys and men travel through in their lives...Cowboy, Warrior, King to name a few. It has shed an interesting light on how I view parenting my boys. I've always been a "teaspoon of dirt a day keeps the doctor away" and I've watched mothers run after their sons "rescuing" them regularly from things like...oh, dirt and adventure (they may get hurt...or dirty). I've always tried to limit my "be careful's" to only life threatening scenarios. I don't want them to be overly cautious and lose their sense of abandon and adventure.

Recently, I've been challenged in this area. I knew it was coming. I've always said that I will more than likely be sitting on the sidelines watching one or both of my children hurl themselves around a track on or in something that requires fuel.

J has been talking about getting a pocket knife since we visited his older boy cousin this summer. His cousin is in Cub Scouts and was learning to use a pocket knife. Oh, J thought this was the coolest thing. So A and I decided that we would get him one for his 7th b-day. He and A picked out the perfect camo swiss army knife on-line and we started the long painful process of waiting for it to arrive.

The instructions have been clearly ingrained since we first started this adventure. He is not to use it without adult supervision and it will be kept in a "safe" place other than his back pocket. Time seemed to drag on forever, yet he never whined, he only waited with eager anticipation and excitement.

Finally, about a week ago it arrived! I wish I had a camera at the moment he opened the box. Truth be told I just wanted to be in the moment rather than trying to "capture" it...(it's captured in my heart forever!) Excitement! Shock! Thrill! Now the hardest part would be waiting for daddy to get home. There are just some things that a boy needs to do with his dad and learning to handle a knife is one of those things.

After a few brief instructions and words of caution about safety J was set free to whittle. He sauntered around looking for the "perfect" piece of wood...found himself a chair (which he moved about 10 feet away from everyone so we'd be safely out of the way) and began to whittle. His male bravado was strong. After about 3 strokes with the blade he leaned over his shoulder and.....spit. Yes....he leaned over his shoulder and spit. I literally did a double take, looked at A and asked, 'he just spit didn't he?' 'Yes, he did' said A. Where in the world did he get that from? A has never whittled before and I don't remember watching any whittlin' and spittin' shows on PBS? At this point I realize (and embrace) that you can't fight the Y chromosome.

bad salami dream

2009-09-23T21:46:00.004-04:00

Last night B woke up scared and said he had a bad dream. So I climbed into bed (no small feat trying not to dislocate anything while crawling into the bottom bunk of a not so tall bunk bed...mind you at 12:30 a.m....after being awoken from REM sleep...but I digress) and snuggled him back to sleep.

Earlier this evening, on our way to church, B started talking about his scary dream. I asked him if he remembered why it was so scary. He said, "Well it was the salami's that my friends and I were fighting." I'm racking my brain about how in fact a large salami could be frightening in a young boy's dream. We had just read the "Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle that night and I do recall that the said caterpillar had ingested a rather large salami. But why are B and his friends fighting these large salami's and what makes them so frightening?So I comment, "These were big salami's that look sort of like a hot dog, right?" "No, mommy, like the green guys on the show where they walk like this," and he sticks his arms out in front of him,"the guys we see on that old show 'Scooby Doo'"....Ohhhhhh, he's talking about ZOMBIES....zombies...salami's....well one can definitely feel like a zombie at night after eating a salami. Beware of zombies posing as salami's in your dreams...if so...throw back a few Maalox before bedtime...sweet dreams.

growing up

2009-09-10T21:26:00.005-04:00

Lots of growing pains lately...for mommy. Watching my boys continue to develop their distinctive personalities, likes and dislikes, passions. (or should I say passionate likes and dislikes!)

The beginning of another year of school has brought even more changes. Both boys headed full on into school each embracing it according to his personality. J was initially excited; everything was new and interesting, however his excitement quickly subsided as he realized that in first grade the amount of "playing" during school has sharply declined. He's doing well grasping concepts, understanding the work and his reading continues to expand. Things have changed...he doesn't seem to be so impressed by his "new found knowledge"...seems to him new learning experiences come with new responsibilities for one's behavior and work. Don't get me wrong..the teacher reassured A and I thins morning that J is a good kid...he's just..."a boy"...this seems to interpret (in J's case) to a bit distracted, a little restless and somewhat impatient about ANYTHING taking too long!

Tonight J and I played our favorite bedtime game of writing a sentence for the other and then having that person draw a picture to go with the sentence. He really loves that game and I love to watch him use all his creative energy to come up with clever sentences for me to draw and then to illustrate the crazy sentences I hand down to him (i.e. tonight's was "The alien threw toast at his enemies!") As we snuggled to close out the night he showed me his new loose teeth...the two top front and center. It struck me like a knife to the heart...there goes my baby...when those two teeth are gone and his new ones come in..his face will begin to change...it will be just the beginning of his journey into manhood. The dance of our relationship will begin to change once more..and more frequently I will lose the grasp of his hand if only for one moment...but that brief moment will feel like an eternity.

spies

2009-08-31T20:51:00.008-04:00

Once again I had to chuckle as I watched and listened to my boys play this evening. Currently their favorite thing to play is "spy". They will dress themselves up and announce that when they walk into the room I am to pretend that I do not know them. This evening these were the get-ups:

Now the other day J decided that he really needed to invent something. We've watched a couple of PBS programs on inventing ("Everyday Edisons") and Ruff Ruffman had a segment on spying and gadgets accompanying such activity. So he came to me with his hand-me-down MP3 player and his sunglasses and informed me that he was going to make a spy gadget. "Where is the tape?" I told him and went about getting ready for church. The next thing I know I turn around and there he is with this:

Later I asked A if he had helped J construct his spy camera. He said he didn't help at all...J had in fact put the whole thing together. I love it! I love to watch their minds at work, creating, analyzing and problem solving. I never knew I'd get such a kick out of watching this process happen in my children.

On a side note. This evening the spies were putting together their "hideaway" which was to be constructed with a bed sheet and various chairs..i.e. tent-fort. Well, it was not going smoothly. Said sheet would not stay put and slinked itself continuously off slippery chairs at the slightest touch. Iwas involved in my own project when I suddenly heard my 5 year exclaim in disgust (with very familiar inflection), "D**n it!" Well I immediately felt the pain of conviction deep within my being and said quietly, "B, I know that you have heard mommy use that word before, however, it is not a good word to use." Without missing a beat he said, "I'm sorry mommy, I thought it was a good word. I won't use it again."

What can I say...kids will always keep you humble.

1st day of school

2009-08-24T20:44:00.002-04:00

(I wrote this post last week and didn't post it...why? I do not know..so here it is...belated..)

Here it is...another year of school upon us. As you can tell from the photos, the boys were pretty excited for the first day of school. B's photos are quite different from last year..in fact you actually see his face this time and he is smiling! It's amazing what one year of preschool will do for a child.
You also will notice that J is up to his same ol' silliness. No straight faces for him. The only way I can get a straight face is to sneak up on him and take him by suprise...this also means that I don't get a natural smile. Perhaps someday.

Following school they were all full of stories about their day. New friends were made, eating in the cafeteria for the first time for B and J is all excited about the fact that their first grade class has DESKS! no tables that have to be shared...like the other first grade class..shhhhh, we're not supposed to let on...appearantly Mr. S was able to negotiate some desks for his room...this is a very big deal. J even pointed out that there is a place to put your very OWN PENCIL on his desk and it won't roll away.

These are the small "wonders" that always put smile on my face. He was really, really excited about having a desk...oh and the fact that his take home folder is actually a BINDER...a real live binder with three rings and a zipper case so when I have to send $$$$$ it doesn't fall out!

B was equally excited about his shelf in music class. I asked him what he put on his shelf in music class but I couldn't exactly decifer what ended up being located on said music shelf. He did jumping jacks with Coach C and told me he was very, very good today! I think his excitement was getting lunch in the cafeteria...being able to select chocolate milk AND grape juice for lunch!

I must say that I thoroughly enjoy the first day of school as seen through my children's eyes. I'm excited for them to be able to go off for a brief moment into the world beyond our home. I'm thrilled to watch them interact with others, make friends, learn to respect other adults, become more independent. I'm enjoying every moment of their learning and growing!

growing pains

2009-07-28T21:50:00.006-04:00

I can't seem to find my emotional footing since returning from our annual summer trip to Colorado. It was an awesome trip. We had such fun just "hanging out" with family and seeing a few friends. Mountain trips, afternoons at the pool, fun baby kittens at Mama J and Pappa J's house, playing with cousins, meeting our newest cousin...just being.
Perhaps it was that the trip was far too short. I simply didn't have enough time to fully relax. I'm now a "part-time working outside the home" woman so my footloose and fancy free schedule is somewhat impaired by a job. This tended to make me a bit grumpy.

Or maybe it is the enormous "To Do" list that from my viewpoint seems as if it will never grow smaller. Try as I may the laundry basket just never stays empty for more than a nanosecond. Today, under serious threats of taking Legos and Star Wars characters hostage, was I finally able to see the floor of the boys room. (I think I'll go in there before I hit the hay and gaze lovingly at it's emptiness!)

Maybe it's a subconscious struggle with the fact that my "baby" is now starting Kindergarten in three weeks. I just know he's going to start off running and never look back. I musn't forget to add to that subconscious struggle the fact that my oldest is growing by leaps and bounds daily. He's going to be eye to eye with me far before the projected 10 year old target. (By the way, does anyone have Shaq's contact info? I'm going to need some serious shoe hand-me-downs in size "gargantuane" by the time middle school hits.)

I do know that my senses have been numbed by the fact that I am currently serving as a round-the-clock short order cook to my boys; who, since returning from our trip are hungry every 10 minutes. I now realize that shopping at Sam's club regularly is quickly becoming a realization.

Things are changing, shifting, growing. Not only are the boys growing and changing, physically, emotionally...but I suppose I am as well. Or at least I should be.

Perhaps that's it... I've got growing pains. Not necessarily physically (although spending all my waking hours in the kitchen trying to keep my children fed will wear me out!) but rather emotionally, spiritually. As my family grows and changes the things that they need and require from me change...ebb and flow. I suppose I just wanted to sit for awhile and veg...I just seemed to get some of this mothering thing figured out...or so I thought.

It's time for some evaluation, reflection and quite a few new recipes for bulk cooking. Digging deep to find the course that will take us through this next leg of our family journey.

Well, I'd better go locate my map, compass and binnoculars...oh and of course pack some snacks...the boys will more than likely be hungry!

A Day at the Beach

2009-06-16T17:41:00.007-04:00

In my quest to wear out my boys as much as possible this summer, I've chosen a few hours at the beach as the easiest and most heat friendly spot. In past years, my time at the beach was spent straddling the beachline where the surf meets the sand. J has always been a water lover and as a toddler would literally throw himself in the waves. (Much to my horror! I had many a terrible vision of my baby being sucked out into the ocean by a wave.) B on the other hand has been a bit more cautious and, up until this summer, usually lasted at the beach for about 15 minutes. He never really seemed interested in the water. So there I would stand to my right, screaming at J not to go any further out; to my left, screaming at B that he stay closer to the water and not run into the path of a beach driving car. Yes, you can say I've been dreaming of this day and it has finally arrived.

All three of us out in the surf, the boys working themselves out silly on their boogie boards. And myself staying cool here in purgatory Florida by being in the water. I am thrilled.

We've also been priveledged to some awesome sightings. The other day we watched a school of dolphins play just off the edge of the water. We also had the normal spottings of crabs and small fish. However Tuesday...we hit the jackpot. Tuesday we swam with the rays.

Actually, at first glance the large shadow in the water sent my girlfriend and I racing out of the water with the kids (yes sharks do hang out in this neck of the woods). We decided we'd see if the large shadow snacked on anyone in the area (surf school was going on next to us). After a few minutes we noticed that one woman (who had the same response to the shadow as we did) was slowly creeping back into the water and bringing her children with her. It seemed safe. So we headed back out and I made a comment about the big swimming shadow. To which she replied, "Oh, they're rays...they don't have stingers and they are very docile."

Okay, I thought, rays..people pay good money to swim with the rays. Before I could fully wrap my head around the concept of swimming with the rays, I turned around and lo and behold, there they were...about a dozen, two foot rays swimming right at us. But I hadn't had time to asses how I felt about swimming with the rays. Even if it was free...was it truly safe? My boys began clutching my arms and trying to climb me like a junglegym. What to do? One cannot move quickly in the waist deep ocean with almost 100lbs of kids stuck to you. What to do? Boy do those ray things swim quickly...(actually they really do look like they are flying).

Now I try my best never to show unecessary fear in front of my children. The last thing I want is kids who are afraid to go in the ocean. I've been working on a lot of mind over matter in the last few years, i.e. picking up frogs, lizards...still not good on snakes. So here I am ...am I scared? or can I dig down deep and find the beauty in the here and now.

I fell somewhere in between. I heard myself say, "LOOK, LOOK AT THE RAYS! HOW COOL IS THAT! HOW AMAZING!" The reason for the caps is because the voice I heard was foreign...it was a high-pitched, loud, squeaky scream coming from my throat...generated by a mother trying to calm her children while also attempting to squelch her raw fear of the unknown.

In the end it truly was an awesome experience. I'm still not convinced that they aren't bait for sharks...the info on the internet says tiger sharks prey on them...my hubby says we don't have tiger sharks here....hmmmm....ignorance can be bliss, right?

F - I - V - E

2009-06-11T19:11:00.006-04:00

He's 5 today...I blinked any my baby is gone. In his place a creative, fiesty, emotional, passionate, tenderhearted, expressive, loving boy. No trace of baby left. Legs are long and lean. He's "reading" every letter and word he sees. Negotiating with me on a daily basis about...oh..everything!

The other night while we were cuddling before bed, he reached over and pushed my lips into a smile. I said, "thank you, was I frowning?" "No", he replied, "you don't have to keep the smile on your face, just as long as you keep it in your heart."

B you are the smile that stays in my heart always! I love you bubby - mommy

40 days and 40 nights

2009-05-21T20:54:00.005-04:00

"it's raining, it's pouring the old man is snoring!"

Apparently my youngest and his classmates tried to run a coupe on nap time the other day by starting this catchy chant! They were soon quieted and all returned to normal, or as normal as things can be when it's been raining and raining and raining.

Now I'm not complaining about the rain. We have been in dire straights here in Central Florida with wildfires and burning bans. I'm thankful that our diligent firefighters are getting a much need break...although some may now be working overtime to rescue people from their flooded homes.

We are very fortunate, our crude but country drainage systems seem to be doing an adequate job. Sure everyone's pasture is flooded and the front yard once again looks like oceanfront property...but I haven't heard of one country home being flooded. The city folk, however, are having a few problems...flooding, water leaking in walls, schools closing, massive amounts of impassible streets. Seems those fine, well designed, highly researched and technical drainage systems just aren't cutting it! Sarcasm aside...we have been hit by an incredible amount of rain. Hurricane Frances dropped around 18 inches of rain when it came through...in the last 3 days we've had over 24 inches. We went from drought conditions to being well over what is necessary to call off a drought!

So what do country folk do after a rainstorm:

We play in the mud! Or at least the kids do. I really wanted to show some full body shots so you could see the full "uniform"...unfortunately, the "uniform" consists of black rubber boots and a birthday suit...I thought it might get me in some sort of trouble (as cute at the little butt cheeks and boots are they should probably be viewed privately and not on the worldwide web!). Both A and I have let them go for it outside when we get home because they have had the worst cabin fever....and because it is quite entertaining!

We'll see where we're floating this weekend...the forecast is still calling for more rain over the next 3-4 days. You'll know where to find us...a rollin' in the mud or canoeing in the front yard!

Music

2009-05-06T11:48:00.003-04:00

I've added music to my website. Check it out...for you fellow bloggers..it is oh, so easy! Anyway...I tend to be a person who likes a little soundtrack for the day. Sometimes it's classical, sometimes the blues, bluegrass, folk, rock or jazz. For me music can not only set the mood but express the mood. I hope to have more expressive tunes flowing forth from this site in the not too distant future....happy listening! la..la..la

REMAIN CALM

2009-05-04T13:19:00.003-04:00

(And now a moment from me the exasperated citizen of the U.S.)

I've decided to voice my opinion today about the swine flu and it's impending "pandemic"! Everyone, stop and remain calm. Do not run around like a chicken with its head cut off screaming, "the sky is falling, the sky is falling!" Stop, Drop and regain your composure.

We must remember to keep things in perspective. Obviously the media has not found anything interesting to report on the President's current doings and they seem to be tired reporting about the troops overseas. Pirates these days are really old news and no one is really getting that hyped up about conservation pieces. So they've decided to drag out some panic stuff. Really, do the media "powers that be" sit around in their big glass offices and discuss how to get the most drastic reaction out of the American people? I gave up trusting the media to disclose all of the information, or for that matter to relay any information in a truthful format, oh, about forever ago! (Remember that election eve so long ago when the TV news reported the results of the polls on one coast BEFORE polls were closed on the other coast...) Be realistic about the media and how their number one goal is still money (ratings, sales, etc.) Gone are the long ago days of reporting the news because we need to be able to stay informed.

I simply want to stand on the top of the mountain and yell, "PEOPLE, REMAIN CALM, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE CONTROLLED BY THE MEDIA. HAVE A BRAIN, USE IT!" Seriously, people are concerned about the president and what he's doing...I say the media has 10 times the power of the president.

A few quick reminders....the current death toll for swine flu is maybe around 300. Did you know that 36,000 people die every year from seasonal influenza? Do we ever hear about the influenza pandemic? All right...I'm going to climb off my soapbox and return to my daily happenings.

visit

2009-04-21T20:32:00.006-04:00

We're having the best time with my parents. Lots and lots of adventures. At the beach, around the house (both inside and out!). I'm sad to think that we only have about one week left.

My parents bring me such comfort. Sure they have their quirks...don't even try to be in the kitchen with my father when he's cooking...and mother..well the list is far too extensive, let's just say she moves to the beat of her own drummer (and I do love that about her). They are and were, normal parents raising kids to the best of their abilities. What I love most is that I have been given the gift of a friendship with my parents. I have realized for many years that this friendship is extremely rare. I am in no way unrealistic about my parents and their humanness. I can look back at the moments when I was able to see not only their strengths but also their weaknesses. I believe it was how they communicated and related to me during their times of weakness that have made the biggest impact on me as an adult.

My mother has given me the gift of being able to stand and march to my very own drummer. She's always been a little edgy, colorful and off the wall. It has always made for the best memories. My father has given me the gift of knowledge. His unquenchable thirst for learning, understanding and discovery has consistently encouraged me to never give up; I can keep exploring, searching, analyzing and finding a solution to most everything I face.

Both parents have most importantly given me the gift of faith. Early on I suppose it was their faith, but as I grew into adulthood I understood that it must be my own personal faith. I've watched their never ending faith and trust in God carry them through difficult and uncertain times as well as expanding their celebration during times of great joy and happiness.

I write with such love in my hearts for these two individuals. I'm realizing that I have been given an opportunity to continue this incredible gift of a loving parent/child relationship. A relationship full of love, discipline, boundaries, adventure, faith, learning and fun.

I am reminded during this visit...they raised me and not only did they live to tell about it...but we still like each other...we really like each other!

invisible friend - 2

2009-03-26T20:48:00.004-04:00

So we know about B's invisible friend, Kipper. I have also mentioned that Kipper has quite the extended family that can show up at any spur of the moment. Today on the way home from school B was talking about a friend from school who is moving out of state. He made the comment that he wanted to move. I asked him where he would like to move. "Colorado" was his reply...(yes I am unashamedly brainwashing my children ). I replied that there were many things that needed to happen before we could in fact move. Daddy would need a job, mommy could use a job, we would need a new house in Colorado and we would have to sell our current home.

"Hmmm", he said, "who could we give our house to?...let me think...I know! We could sell our house to my invisible friend's grandpa! His house is old and he needs a new one!"

Problem solved! A asked if he'd be paying with invisible money. I wonder what kind of interest rate he'll be able to get?

the heart of the matter

2009-03-15T20:50:00.009-04:00

I'm having one of those weekends where my children are driving me nuts...nuts I tell you. There has been incessant whining, bickering, badgering, stubbornness and downright disobedience and flippancy. AAAARRGGGHHH! Of course I was also trying to finish a project for a fundraiser at the elementary school (post on that later once I get photos taken...very proud of my creation!). What is this built in radar that children come equipped with that moves them to push all of your buttons when you are OBVIOUSLY trying to accomplish something important that requires a bit of your brain power!? I could go on but then it will simply become the whining of a bedraggled, tired mommy! Who wants to listen to that?

Instead I will jump ahead to the lesson of which I became student this evening. In the back of my mind...when my children are whining and so on...I realize that two things are present....they are one, normally tired and two, in desperate need of one on one attention. Some loving, encouragement and just knowing that mommy sees them, loves them and knows they are special. Being solely focused on a creative process can leave me closing my eyes to their needs.

Finally, I stopped and spent that time with my youngest. We cuddled in bed, he with his headlamp on (he loves to read bedtime stories this way...makes it much more adventurous) and me simply lying beside him taking in all of his loveliness. Less than an hour ago he was driving me crazy and yet I was lying here breathing in his spirit of innocence, laughter and simply the need to be shown love. My heart in that very moment was so full of love for him that I simply don't have words to describe.

Here's the clincher...suddenly my mind opened and I realized that I am this same child with my God. Whiny, stubborn, belligerent, bickering, disobedient and flippant! God is watching me, loving me...knowing exactly what I need. Patiently waiting for me to stop, climb up in His lap, lay my head on His shoulder and breathe deep the fragrance of His incredible, never ending, passionate love for me. Despite the ugly behavior....He loves me....He waits for me...He delights in me.

God will never stop using my children to teach me...I am forever grateful!

listen

2009-03-11T21:35:00.005-04:00

I'm finding if I quiet myself more often and just listen to the voices of my children I can find great joy in simple words. Today in the car on the way home from school B was looking at a brochure of a local state park. He excitedly pointed out that there was a "beagle" on the brochure! A beagle? What Forida state park thinks that beagles should be advertised as local wildlife. Yes, my beagle jack russel is wild and could qualify in oh so many ways...but really...in print advertising? At the next stop he pointed to the picture of the grand bird on the brochure..."see mommy, a beagle!" Yes, baby a beagle....I love seeing (and hearing) the world through the eyes of a child!

Stop.....listen....smile!

kid funny

2009-03-04T15:48:00.003-05:00

First I apologize for the lengthy abscence. (Really now, why do I need to apologize for not posting on my own blog...as if there is some massive readership that has been left hanging for the next installment of my crazy life!) Let's just say...life got in the way of blogging for a bit. I now have a new camera (thanks dad, glad you have a hobby that encourages you to upgrade your equipment regularly!) that I love but need to be practicing a bit more...it has so many more bells and whistles than my former that I tend to be intimidated by the machine!

I do have a funny story that left A and I in stitches the other night. B has an imaginary friend. I know that often younger children adopt an "imaginary friend". This friend has really never had a name..(until yesterday in the car where we agree his name was now Kipper - for those of you not familiar with children's videos, this is the name of a dog character in a British children's video and book series by Mick Inkpen) Sooooo, many times imaginary friend's mother, father and dog will show up for interaction and visits. They are regulars at our house!

Last night we were enjoying our pre-bedtime story and prayer. I asked who would like to pray for us that evening and B piped up that he really wanted to pray. He explained that he wanted to pray for his invisable friend...as in he would interpret the friend's prayer for us...(this can be an interesting experience..we haven't quite figured out how to explain that invisable friend has no sould and therefore really can't have a personal relationship with Christ...blah, blah, blah, blah..at this point irrelavent). He goes onto explain that he will pray for his invisable friend because his friend speaks sign-language (visualize him making sign language "movements" with his hands). A and I look at each other to hide our smiles. Finally, we understand. We haven't been able to communicate with invisable friend because we can't "see" him talking!
Oh, how I LOVE my kids imaginations!

sad, sad day

2009-01-28T09:55:00.004-05:00

This is an odd little post so bear with me. I just found out via blogland that my very favorite magazine of all time (and I do read me some magazines, just ask my family) is no longer going to be published.

Mary Englebreit Home Companion has lost their publisher. Whoa is me! This truly was the best art/handcrafting/decorating publication out there. (I must also add that my second fav mag Country Home is also done) What is a magazine-aholic to do? No slam to the other publications, but I just loved me some colorful, out there, refurbished junk art and decor! I was always sooooo inspired.

Well, I guess I'm going to just have to get with it and inspire myself....

MEHC I will miss you.......

Busyness....

2009-01-11T09:25:00.004-05:00

The holidays were pretty peaceful and low-key. I really enjoyed them and the quite time with my family. I had let go of many of my previous committments prior to the holidays and had settled in the ebb and flow of a great family routine.

New Year...so you'd think I could continue on the same track. I'm realizing that "saying yes to everything" is a very hard habit to break. It is not a good sign on Friday night to lay your head down hoping that Sunday night comes as quickly as possible. This should be a great indicator that there are too many "things" scheduled.

I guess I have to be reminded (regularly) of our family's priorities and our best suited schedule. Everyone is different. Some families work best with lots of activity and yet others work best at a slower pace. I'm working on releasing the guilt over not having my kids signed up for every sporting event and activity, for having weekends with absolutely nothing on the schedule from Friday night to Sunday night, for just hanging out at home with the kids making paper mache.

This is a journey, parenting, finetuning not only our approach and disciplining techniques but releasing the guilt of not being the "perfect" parent or compairing ourselves to every other parent in our immediate circle. Conversations with my own parents have led me to realize that it is in fact a life long journey. What's that old saying, "God ain't finished with me yet!" ? Thank you God for never being finished with this wife, mother, daughter, sister & friend.

a day in the life of mom

2008-12-27T21:05:00.006-05:00

Tonight the topic at the dinner table was respect. What is it? How do we show it? How do we not show it? (yes, we fully enacted different scenarios of respecting and disrespecting each other...) Following dinner, hubby and I discussed various aspects of our incredible parenting skills that needed some polishing. We agreed that more creativity needed to be used in the area of disciplining rather than our ever so famous...."STOP" cry (actually it's a yell....but who wants to admit that they actually yell at their children.....?) Feeling ever so confident that we were turning the corner on this parenting skill we rewarded our compliant and well adjusted offspring with the treat of sleeping by the Christmas tree in their sleeping bags. They were so delighted!

No sooner had they settled in when all of a sudden I hear a blood curdling scream. As I jumped up to go to the living room I look up to see the youngest stumbling into our room with his hand on his forehead. As he looks up at me I see it......the BLOOD...lots and lots of blood...horror movie type of blood running down his face.

Now my mind is running in a million different directions...emergency room or urgent care?....where are my wallet and keys?....am I in fact wearing a bra? Suddenly I hear myself screaming at the top of my lungs, "J WHAT DID YOU HIT YOUR BROTHER WITH? WHAT DID YOU HIT HIM WITH? COME HERE AND TELL ME RIGHT NOW? WHAT DID YOU HIT HIM WITH?" While I'm yelling this the youngest catches a glimpse of his bloody face in the mirror and loses it.

I now realize I must gain control of the situation. The small voice in the back of my head says, "remember head lacerations bleed quite a bit..." I finally gain composure, take care of the patient and then turn my attention to my oldest. He had in fact explained the entire scenario to me while I was nursing the patient...younger brother was trying to stick his behind in older brother's face, used the rocking chair as his stability bar and landed head first into the fireplace hearth!

The funny thing was, in the midst of the chaos...this 6 year old remained completely calm...even to the point to assisting me with items daddy couldn't find. I looked him right in the eyes and said, "I love you and I am so sorry for yelling at you. I was wrong, will you forgive me?" He looked back at me with his big brown eyes, said, "yes" and then responded, "yelling at me like that was disrespectful wasn't it?"

Touche!

Decorating Can be Dangerous

2008-12-10T14:04:00.013-05:00

Okay, I admit it...I am a blog voyeaur...I spend far too much time on the internet looking at inspiring art and decorating blogs. One of my all time faves is A Nesting Place. This is such a fun site and today she is hosting a

So here is my simple addition to the long list of beautiful postings:

(notice the paper in the fireplace...my son's Christmas list to Santa..he thinks since Santa comes down the chimney to drop off the presents that is where he should, in fact, pick up the list!)

(close up of my goo-gaw bow...hmmm what else could I possible stick in here!)

(close up of my joy)

Now you might be wondering about the title of the this post...well unfortunately my sassy garland was not put together without drawing blood. Did I slice my finger whilst cutting out all the cute snowflakes? Did I get a paper cut? what danger could possibly lurk while putting up a holiday garland on the mantel of all places? OOOhhh pretty:

Nice black eye...what you might not be able to see is the dent in my forhead (oh and lovely bruise) at the exact location of the red spot/cut. How did this happen? Let me paint a quick portrait:

Excitement over creating the best ever garland for the mantel drives decorating crazed woman to hunt down every available piece of anything that is not nailed down to use in her holiday extravaganza! Believing that three baskets full of ribbon is not nearly enough she reaches on the shelf above her head for the LARGE GLASS container that holds even MORE of her ribbon collection. (you can never have too much ribbon!) Because of her greed and insanity she is not careful enough to notice the container's LARGE GLASS LID that comes sliding off the container and is launching itself at mach speed toward her head like a flying saucer! At impact with her very hard Polish heritage head the LARGE GLASS LID shatters into 4 equal pieces. She is left grabbing her throbbing noggin trying very hard not to use any despicable language...but oh how it HURTS. She decides to look in the mirror to find a large goose egg appearing in the middle of her forhead. For fear that she will have to attend church the next day looking like a character from Star Trek she lies down, ices her head and calls her mom (states away in Colorado) for a good cry. (Mind you the hubby had just taken the boys out so she would have some "quality"decorating time!!! so much for that!) Thank goodness for trendy bangs that are currently all the rage, for she was, in fact, able to cover the goose egg on said forehead the following morning at church. It was not until three days later did she wake up to notice what she thought was a rash under her eye. But, truth betold, she finally realized that it was a lovely shiner.

Boy howdy next time I'm wearing a hard hat.

boys

2008-12-07T21:38:00.006-05:00

What I'm learning about boys:

1. There is adventure in everything (even going to the bathroom)

2. If the possibility of getting dirty does not exist...then it must be boring.

3. A boy is only truly still when he is asleep (and with my younger this can be an arguable point)

4. No decibel is too loud...they can and will find a way to be even LOUDER.
5. Did I mention that dirt is one of the major food groups?

6. When nurtured properly with love, encouragement and safe boundaries boys will flourish and grow into some of the most amazing creatures. Sure I don't always completely understand their ways and/or obsession with dirt but I thoroughly relish the sight of their passion for life and exploration of the world around them.

I encourage all moms of boys to relax a bit more and enjoy the ride...it does get crazy at times...but I guarantee it will be the ride of your life!

LOST

2008-12-04T19:17:00.002-05:00

No...not on a deserted island but rather our very first TOOTH! woo hoo! I can hardly believe it! Just last week the dentist pointed out that the tooth was beginning to show some movement. J caught on quickly and began talking about how he was going to eat an apple and the tooth would fall out....well, he's been working this tooth all week. The other night at dinner (mind you he was being quite uncooperative during meal time and very close to being punished) I asked him about his tooth...he wiggled it a bit with wide eyes at how much it was moving...I encouraged, "push it forward as far as you can!"...cautiously he moved it forward and lo and behold it popped right out. With a mixed look of fear, excitement and wonder as to whether or not blood would spew forth, he gently laid it on the dinner table while mommy is screaming..."I've got to get the camera!"

Mind you my poor husband was trying to eat and would have much preferred that I saved this drama for post dinner. (He had earlier admitted that the "loose tooth" thing made him a little squeamish...ooops) Nonetheless, I spent the rest of the meal glancing at my 6 year old and wondering where time flies. I even turned to my husband and asked, "Didn't we just bring him home from the hospital?"

The toothfairy did visit and J was compensated for this momentus occasion. Well, another milestone marked...I'm having one of those out of body experiences where time seems to be flying by at breakneck speed. Christmas in just a few weeks and then the new year is upon us. I'm afraid I'm going to blink and he'll be asking for his driver's liscense...oh boy...

H O M E

2008-11-16T20:14:00.006-05:00

Okay, it's been quite awhile since I've posted. Chalk it up to the crazies...just too much going on and I'm exhausted by the time everyone is in bed. However, I received a phone call from my sweet niece G and she stated that it had been far too long since I've posted and I really needed something new up and running. (I agree G...I am ashamed at how long it has been...and I've decided that I need to make blogging a regular part of my routine.)

So what to blog about? Not the crazies...no...too crazy!? No...tonite I had another sweet interlude with one of my boys that really makes the crazies a distant memory.

It's been busy and I can tell that the insanity of things has begun to take its toll on the boys. They're wild, unfocused, grumpy...over it basically. So after we managed to wrestle them into bed I had a brief moment with both.

Tonight I had the opportunity to share with J about the last home my parents owned prior to their "retirement" condo. This was the home my brother, sister and I grew up in from elementary through college and my sister, marriage. It was a great house. Full of incredible memories and as I started to tell J story after story about the house I began to feel an ache for the past. The waterfall and pond my dad built that we would hang out around in the cool of the summer evenings. The porch with the glider swing, where you could take a nap during an afternoon rainshower. The view...wow...the view of the complete Colorado mountian range. The hill on the side of the house where we used to sled...cool! I miss that house.

But it's not just the house I miss. I realize that I miss the home. These days I sense myself full of dissatisfaction over what my house doesn't have in size, shape, texture...whatever. Then I remember that old house had many a foible but as a child..I don't remember any of it. I simply remember how being there made me feel....safe, loved, warm...home. That doesn't have anything to do with location, texture, size and shape....it has to do with the heart of the home. The family that resides within the walls of the structure.

It hit me tonight that I am missing the point as I try to creat the "perfect" home. It's not achieving the glossy magazine cover look. It boils down to how the heart of our home wraps its arms around us and draws us together. What memories are we building? Are we stretching wide the arms of our home and letting it embrace others? Does our home live and breathe?

Honestly, this wasn't the post I intended to write tonight...it has somewhat taken on a life of its own. As I have written these words from my heart I am moved to stop and think seriously about the "home" I'm creating....the memories I'm leaving with my boys...I truly want our home to embrace them...to love them and give them a sense of peace and restfulness. I'm praying that as I go into the busy holiday season I will stretch myself beyond the need for "perfection" and rest peacefully at the heart of our home.

Once a Mom, Always a Mom

2008-10-16T20:05:00.003-04:00

As usual it has been forever since I've blogged. Well, what can I say, life has a tendency to get in the way and before you know it, a month has passed and my blog sits lonely and outdated!

The most recent activity in life has included a wonderful visit from my parents, starting a new part-time job and traveling for a weekend of performing (I'll get into that on another post entitled, "I Was a Rock Star for a Weekend"). Can I just share with you how much I love my parents? They are the most loving, fun, creative and selfless people I know and I am truly blessed to have them as my parents.
They have been here for almost 4 weeks; loving us, cleaning, cooking, keeping us all in line, caring for my kids while I was out of town, and helping a frazzled mommy get organized!

At times my mother and I will butt heads, briefly. Gone are the days of long drawn out arguments and silent treatment of my teen years. Why did I ever think that they knew nothing and I knew everything? You see, now I understand what it means to be a mom, to feel the pain when your child is hurting or frustrated, to always want to help, to fix, to soothe, even when they may need to do it all on their own. It's amazing how the moment you enter motherhood the playing field is leveled and you begin to have a greater understanding of your parents. Whether or not your relationship is positive or negative, you begin a journey that is a roller coaster ride of the past and present colliding at the intersections of you life.

I thank the Lord that I have had incredible, real examples of humans striving to be the best parents they now how to be, by God's grace. Thank you mom and dad for all of your love, support and guidance, past, present and future. You have been my Jesus with skin on. I love you, always and forever!

Welcome Seester!

2008-09-20T14:24:00.003-04:00

I'm so happy to have drug my lovely seester into the world of blogging. I'm looking forward to some great posts! Be sure to check her out at http://www.greenseester.blogspot.com/ .

I would like to take this opportunity to brag on my dearest seester. She is one incredible lady. (She'll probably kill me for the above posted photo, but the truth be told I think is represents her quite well...friendly, cheerful, kind, fun and funny.) She is always there to help; physically, emotionally and spiritually. We have the best times together. (the teen years were a bit rough...there was some hand-to-hand combat regarding wardrobe sharing...not so much any more...now we just deal blows at the thrift store over who gets the good shoes!)

I love her so much and have to say that she is definitely my very bestest friend forever (BFF!). I simply love hanging out with her. She is an awesome wife and mother, incredible volunteer (this girl can get things done!), great friend to many, wildly creative and talented and a delightful child of God. I am proud to call her "seester".

It is my prayer as that someday we will have the opportunity to live closer to one another. Ever since I got married we have lived very far apart. I miss her soooooo much. Honestly, there are many days I wish that I could just drop by her house...or meet her down at the best thrifting spots or have a regular Saturday morning coffee and garage sale date. Our geographical distance is one of my greatest sadnesses. My sister brings me such joy and I love her so incredibly much.

My lovely seester...I love you with all of my heart! I always will...thank you for always loving me! - your big sis -J

No a-Way!

2008-09-02T20:51:00.004-04:00

My youngest has picked up a new expression...instead of "No Way!" (which I believe may be one of my favorite verbal reactions to anything they say that is relatively exciting) he will exclaim, very passionately, "No a-Way!" The first time I heard it I asked him to repeat it..and sure enough there was the "a" in front of the "way". Makes me smile everytime I think about it!

The transition to school has been steady. Today was in fact the first day B actually entered his classroom, hung up his backpack and sat in his chair to start the day. Our normal routine last week was..."mommy, drop me off by the door and tell Miss Christa not to touch me." I then left to him crying either on the floor by the door or on the floor in some other random part of the room. But today, he marched in confidently and told Miss Christa, "I'm not shy anymore!" Well, hallelujah and hot-damn! I wish I could share some incredible parenting tip that brought about this change, however, I seriously think God gave me a break because He noticed my mental health was taking a blow and I needed a pick-me-up. Now mind you...I will be holding my breath tomorrow morning...because as we all know...the planets may not be aligned properly and the wind may be blowing in the wrong direction and well that can mess everything up!

My biggest prayer is that we will make it through an entire week of school before another hurricane shows up....Hanna is starting to hammer down (I hear the rain right now)...behind her is tropical storm Ivan (?) and then Josephine is lining up nicely off the coast of the Bahamas...welcome to the beginning of school and hurricane season!

J's teacher asked for a baby picture to use on a project...I started looking through stuff...is this the same kid who confidently waltzes off to Kindergarten?

Here's Mr. "No A-way!" not even a day old....time certainly does fly....
It seems like yesterday....no a-way!

1st day of school vs. T.S. Fay

2008-08-21T20:35:00.006-04:00

Handsome boy...first day of Kindergarten

Yes, there is a very handsome preschooler there...yelling, "don't take my picture!" (It's very paparazzi!)

Yea, we did actually start school on Monday. Things went well. J walked straight into his class sat down and said, "mom, I'm not going to miss you!" Well, alrighty then...we're off to take B to his first day of preschool....

You can tell by his first day pictures that it wasn't such an easy transition. He actually did fine. He just has to take his time and size up the situation, decide who's who and what's what, figure out his angle and then he eases into place.

I did have one brief blissful encounter of silent, quiet, move-at-my-own-pace shopping that day. It was a bit unnerving...you do tend to become highly aware of everyone else's "children noise"...

Well, it was all over far too soon...Tropical Storm Fay hit...oh the rain...the never ending rain....I do believe we encapsulated 40 days of rain in the last three. This means that there has been no school. This evening for about one hour I did believe that my children were going to school tomorrow...however, school is once again closed.

I have posted a few pics (sorry about the poor quality) just to show the amount of rain we have encountered here at home. As I told my mom (who calls frequently during storms to make sure we're not flooding) we live on a "mountain" here on our property. Not actually, it's just that the house does sit a bit elevated to the rest of the property....blah, blah, blah...hence the house does not flood.

Here is the backyard looking a bit like the entrance to the Everglades....

Another Everglade shot out the back....Why there is my driveway on the left...yes, the river to the left of the picture...the lake on the right is normally a grassy clearing.
The retention "lake" again, it's normal existence is a pond, about 1/4 of this size...however, we're are actually getting close to retention "ocean"....Thankfully, our power has stayed on pretty consistently...this is my greatest fear in a storm...not electrocution, or the food going bad in the fridge, or trees falling on the house...the AIR CONDITIONING must never go out in my house in the summer....I must NEVER feel the intense HUMIDITY inside my house...I can usually last, oh about 20 minutes before I'm grabbing the keys, putting the kids in the car and heading to the nearest A/C.

I have rambled enough about all this. School will re-start again on Monday. Perhaps I might get a better picture of B, who knows. Until then, grab the playdough and Legos...let's build us a boat!

bad mommy moment #65,893,123

2008-08-11T22:41:00.007-04:00

okay..okay...this is supposed to be a blog about all the things I'm thankful for...like my beautiful children...that I have one last, beautiful week to enjoy with them prior to the start of school. Today, I was thankful that they would BOTH be starting school this year and that it's only one week away! Today was one of those days. Apparently I was trying to get too much done. Their "don't let mommy complete projects" radar was fine tuned and running overtime!

Big brother was testing his ability to completely annoy little brother (without so much as flinching). Little brother in return practiced the negative response level of different styles, volume levels and intensities of screaming.

Adding to this lovely parade of "who is in control" is mommy...steroid pill popping mommy. Last week I had a pretty severe case of bronchitis and part of my medical regime was a series of steroids. These things can be pretty evil...or at least they can make a person pretty evil (my husband will in fact vouch for this). I felt like I was going out of my mind. My girlfriend reminded me of the time one of the boys was on an oral steroid as a baby...how grumpy, nasty and overall unpleasant the drugs made him....why yes, I remember because I am currently behaving just like him!

I did manage to make it through the day with lots of Lamaze breathing (didn't need it for my C-sections, but I sure use it in daily parenting) and about a dozen timeouts for both boys.

Tomorrow is another day...another chance...a fresh start...I think we'll head to the beach and let the sand, surf and breeze blow the memory of today away. To second chances!

Fun with the cousins...

2008-08-07T22:02:00.004-04:00

I have been incredibly lame regarding my blog postings this summer..shame on me! I wanted to share a few pics tonight of a fun evening we had together with the cousins while in Denver. We had spent the day exploring the Natural History Museum and then assembled in the park behind the museum for a picnic dinner. Mama J always has fun props on hand for the making of the most incredible adventures and this evening was full of fun.
She had made capes for all of the kids. Knight capes for the boys and princess capes for the girls. The foam swords, shields and helmets were a huge hit....
Somehow Frankenstein managed to make an appearance...but trusty Lord J defended Princesses G and B with great honor!
Fair Maiden A was distraught with Lord J for being much to fierce with poor Frank. "He only wanted to join in the fun!" So she gave him a lashing and reminded him that tie-dye and camouflage are not a fashion statement.

There was even a rare spotting of "Camera Guy" Pappa J with J and B. It is very difficult to catch this creature without it's knowledge of being photographed. Again, very rare footage.

What a great evening. It still amazes me when I stop and look at each child, to see a bit of my brother or sister in a smile, in the motion of a hand or the sound of a laugh. I have brief recollections of the three of us at 9, 8 and 3 years old....camping, playing on the beach....

Fast forward too many years to admit and I love the feeling of our children, together like we once were; playing, laughing and loving on each other. Dear Lord, please give us the opportunity for many more of these memory building opportunities.

it's been way too long

2008-07-18T23:11:00.002-04:00

Once again, I've fallen short on the blogging. We are in the... "post-vacation, return to reality, oh no, both my boys are getting ready to start school...and did I mention I'm going to work part-time" transition. It really is going rather smoothly...really...

I have made one new realization, however...once children start school (preschool or beyond) they become accustomed to a certain amount of daily stimulation. I am realizing rather quickly that my sole purpose everyday until school starts is to try and wear out my 5 year old. These last few weeks since we've been home his energy level has increased exponentionally on a daily basis. Sometimes I just stop and watch in amazemet at the electric energy shooting out of his body...his arms and legs going every which way..the running, hopping, jumping...I'm tired thinking about it. My youngest has not experienced school yet...I'm bracing myself for next summer...I now understand why parents have a long "activities list" for the hour school ends and summer begins...I understand why people build pools in their backyards...I'm thinking about getting an old fashioned push mower (the ones prior to gas) and making J go for it.

I really do love their energy...it's just that there is so much of it all at once...I have quite a bit to learn...those older and wiser simply smile (do I see amusement in their eye) and part with the words, "it's just the beginning..."

Well, this ol' mommy better get some sleep...I have some "wild things" to run tomorrow.....

where in the world?

2008-06-27T12:27:00.003-04:00

Where in the world have I been? We'll the boys and I have travelled many miles to spend 4 sweet weeks with my family in beautiful Colorado. I don't know how much longer we will be able to run away for weeks on end to enjoy grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles and dry warm weather!

There's been tons of fun! Lot's of playing, VBS this week with a CAR theme of all things! (Talk about exciting for two car fanactic boys.), swimming, water fights, dress up...and that's just been with one set of cousins. The second set just returned from their summer vacation to distant relatives and so we get to pick up fun activities with them starting this weekend.

The boys have truly enjoyed the time with my family. We still have yet to make it to the mountains...of course we get to see their majestic beauty everyday as we drive from one place to the next. They are always there...tall, strong...majestic. I long for those mountains and look forward to a few quick jaunts to take in their incredible beauty this next week before we depart.

No pics today...unfortunately, I'm on the wrong computer to download any...will try tonight to get some up and running.

Colorado is truly a beautiful place to spend some summer vacation....I still dream that someday in the future God will lead us back to this place....but He is also impressing upon me my need to find contentment wherever He has chosen to place me at this season in my life. A little hard for such a control freak!

Lord, you know my "comings and my goings" (Psalm 139)...you know my thoughts before they even come into my head...may I keep my eyes fixed on you...the author and perfecter of my faith. Where you lead may I follow with a glad heart!

reduce, reuse, recycle - ROBOTS

2008-05-25T10:10:00.004-04:00

B is turning 4 in a couple of weeks. We are going to have a robot themed party. I've had this idea to use "environmentall friendly" decorations. Balloons, paper streamers, etc are fun and add so much to a celebration, however, I've been trying to think in terms of reducing the amount of waste we produce as a family. I'm far from perfection in this area....but I started to think "outside the box" to put together both fun and inexpensive decorations for celebrations.

I have been saving every paper and plastic recepticle that has passed through our home. I had a vision for this project when we first decided on the robot theme. Saturday the idea began to take shape.

I had so much fun building robots from all the "junk" (or as A said, "look, mommy is taking out the garabage!" when I carried out my bags of "stuff"). Here are some shots of the beginnings....

Of course, the minute the first robot appeared there were requests for personal robots to be made for each boy. B ended up with a cute (or as he put it "adorable") robot that then donned Batman's mask and superhero cape. (Batrobot, spent the night standing guard next to B's bed...he wanted to sleep with him but I figured Batrobot would end up as Batpancake in the morning) J had a few different favorites. He'd grab one I finished and then as soon as he saw the next he'd want that one instead. I tell you, parents really don't need to spend insane amounts of money on toys...it always comes back to the boxes. Last night the boys played with their "robots" for hours until bedtime.

In addition to the robot decorations, I made a celebration banner from my scrap pile of material. I've seen these online and wanted to make some forever. I plan on making another one as well to use at each birthday and family celebration. I think it will also satisfy my desire to create some traditions for our family celebrations.

I will have more updates about our weekend following.

childhood is fleeting

2008-05-20T22:56:00.002-04:00

The grumpies snuck up on me again today. It has taken me awhile to fight them back. This evening I spent some time reflecting on the two "rays of sunshine" that tend to light my way out of my funks. I'm constantly reminded of how quickly time flies; how quickly children today are forced to take on adult roles. War, poverty and homelessness drive children out of the sweetness of childhood into the stress and worry of adult life. Even on the other spectrum the pressure of performance, success and politically correct schedules keep children from enjoying the freedom and joy that childhood play creates.
I tend to wallow in self-pity about all I'm "doing" for the good of the family. Trying to create the perfect home, learning environment, spiritual base for the boys. It's not in the doing is it? It's in the being. Being in the moment. Being available to laugh, cry, have water fights, hug, snuggle and play make-believe.
Time is speeding by...soon I will have more time on my hands than I know what to do with...I will long for muddy feet running through the kitchen, someone to beg me to play Legos, wanting to "help make" in the kitchen. I will strain to hear voices ask me to stay in bed and snuggle for "5 more times".
Next month my baby turns 4. School will be a part of each day. Older brother will enter his lifelong relationship with education.
Dear Lord, may I be faithful with these incredible creatures you've entrusted to me. May I show love, patience, self-control. May I guide, direct and encourage hearts so open and vulnerable. I know that I will only hold them briefly...You, Lord, have them for an eternity...may I be faithful.

sweet serenade

2008-05-10T11:35:00.004-04:00

It was an incredibly sweet moment. Time stood still and I relished the purity of the creative spirit. Just the other night J and I were cuddling prior to his bedtime. (I often wrestle with the whole children need to be sent to bed alone thing. Honestly, the cuddling before bed is one of the sweetest moments for me...always has been. I think I hang on to it because I realize it will be gone before I know it!) I decided this particular evening that singing would be soothing and would take me back to the days I cuddled a baby in my arms and sung sweet lullabies and hymns while rocking. J chose to go first and what followed where priceless words from a child's heart. He sang of friendship, prettiness, bullies; I suppose whatever he had faced during the day. Now you must understand the J has not quite found the gift of musical pitch and melody, yet. He is very passionate however, about words, inflection and hand motions, all songs must have hand motions. He sang one song in a rock rendition followed by a rap and then finally a sweet love song. This love song is what truly pierced my heart. Before he started he told me I could in fact say the song was beautiful if I so choosed. It was. He sung of my prettiness and wonderfulness as a mom and his love for me. Time stood still.

Finally, it was time for him to go to bed. As I tucked him in he asked me to sing one more song (I had sung him some of my favorite hymns.) I started to sing "Jesus Love Me" and he stopped me. "Mommy, sing me a song about loving me." Now I must admit I'm not quite comfortable with my own ability to create songs without printed music to follow, give me a paint brush or fabric and I'll go for it, but create music and words with nothing? Scary. A mother's love however, knows no fear and so I plunged ahead. As I let myself go and concentrated on my overwhelming love for this creative, passionate, beautiful boy the song poured out from my heart. I don't remember what exactly I sang or the tune that was heard but by the look on the face of my son I knew I had hit the right chord. From the depths of my heart came a song of love.

it's been too long

2008-05-07T22:25:00.003-04:00

I'm feeling the "deliquent blogger" guilt. I realize it's been far too long since I've written. Truth be told I've been spending most of my computer time surfing for the absolute best airline deal I can get to Denver in June. I really don't think awesome deals exist. I think you can spend hours searching and finally out of sheer exhaustion you give up and settle for an extra $40 a ticket if it will get you a straight through flight. The boys are actually very good travelers. They've both been riding on airplanes since they were babies. That, and the airlines got smart and installed TV's in the seats...it's always the best $5 I spend...I've tried the portable DVD player...but the battery runs out after an hour....it's not worth lugging it onboard for a 3+ hour trip. No, I'll stick with my hourly wrapped "suprise"! (Usually a new hotwheel car)

The latest and greatest thing we have discovered are Legos...lots and lots of Legos...I really need to include pictures....but I have failed miserbly in the photo department lately. Just the other day I scored a box of Legos at the thrift store..now you may ask yourself, "who in their right mind would purchase a large box of legos? Don't you end up finding them all over the house? Incure painful foot injuries from stepping on wayward Legos?" Well, yes...they do have a tendancy to migrate into unusual places in the house and yes, I have several Lego induced battle scars on my feet...but the truth be told, I believe Legos are the best toy ever invented! Hours and hours of creative, fun, imaganitive play. Included in the box was a ziplock baggy of over 50+ of the tiny Lego people...with helmets,hats, scuba gear, a batman mask, knives, guns, spears, space goggles...you name it...we have every character from coyboys and indians, astronauts, the redcoats, civil war soldiers, race car drivers....you get the picture. When you have these little people to actually attach to your creations and interact with each other...for my boys...it's heaven.

I do understand that some parents see Legos as the housekeeping enemy (that and Polly Pockets according to my girlfriends) but I see them as a chance to glance at my children's mind engaging, creating, dreaming...working. Every day I am amazed at not only the contraptions, creations and vehichles that are made but the stories and adventures that passionately play out before me.

a cure for the grown up grumpies

2008-04-25T09:19:00.003-04:00

The other morning the boys were up and at 'em when daddy got up for work. This is very early in my book. I lack the gift of being a morning person. I'm a person who needs a slow wind-up to the day. Hitting the ground running is difficult. I realize that I am quickly approaching the end of my season for slow wind-up mornings. Next year J will start Kindergarten, B will be in morning preschool and I will start working. Needless to say, I'm trying to milk my slow mornings for all their worth.

Back to the other morning. Waking up at 5:30 is painful. It normally results in mommy becoming very short and grumpy. So this particular morning I was ready for some real grumping. I hadn't even had time to fix my coffee before the boys were running into the living room excited for the day to start. They weren't even remotely grumpy...instead they were full of life! I was dragging through my cloud of funk, feeling sorry for myself and wondering if I could put cartoons on and climb back between the sheets when something broke through the cobwebs.

"Mommy!" yelled J, the sky is dark blue and I can see the moon like it's nightime!" Both boys ran outside to stand in the unfamiliar "light" of dawn. I followed them outside into the crisp air which quickly began to clear my funk. We stood outside and compaired the shades of blue, yellow and pink as the sun began to rise. We stood in wonder at the bright North star that shone even as the sun rose. We watched until the moon began to fade and the coolness of dawn moved into the warmth of morning.

I stopped to laugh at myself and my "whining". As always the excitement and wonder of my children's new experience has reached in and changed the posture of my heart. I was struck with the thought that when adult grumpiness overtakes me....I simply need to stop and look at the world around me through the eyes of child.

stuff

2008-04-18T21:36:00.004-04:00

I was sweating the small stuff today for a moment. Gazing around the house at the cars, legos, tools, playdough, cardboard boxes, etc. that make up the boys playthings. Tonight I was reminded that I started this blog to celebrate the things for which I am thankful. Tonight I am thankful that my boys can play...that they can squish playdough with strong hands, build cities and roads with blocks, run to chase frogs and each other and even when their voices are raised at each other in the middle of conflict....I am thankful that those voices are there...loud and clear, articualte in thought..easily heard and understood.

Ah yes, the toys underfoot, well, I remind myself today that it is only for a season. Soon enough the "toys" will be too big to be underfoot...more than likely they will require some sort of fuel and have to be parked outside the house! So for today I will pick playdough off the seat of my pants and put a band-aid on my foot for a lego-induced wound and smile and think, "Don't blink...it will be gone faster than you know it! It's just stuff"

B with his "robot" hand

J driving his sidewalk chalk race car!

I love imaginations!

2008-04-17T21:45:00.002-04:00

A and I sat outside tonight and watched J fight imaginary bad guys with his sword (sprinkler head). The bad guys only seemed to prevail once as we noticed J sprawled flat on the grass clutching his stomach. Not for long...he was up again and fighting fiercely to defend his honor. B meanwhile sat and sought out bad guys with his toy transformer in the deep, dark forest (glade of flowering weeds!)

I recently read a book about the developmental stages of boys. It helped me continue to relax as I parent two very active, creative and dramatic boys. They are going to slay dragons, shoot canons, guns, bows and arrows. They will continue to crash cars, bikes, skateboards and each other. I know a day will come when I will be sitting on the sidelines of a racetrack while a son of mine races some sort of motorized something...biting my nails and praying for God's protection. I will do so with not only fear in my heart but joy, knowing that they never lost that zest for life!

Dear J and B, may you never lose your passionate imaginations!

we've been having fun!

2008-04-09T21:41:00.004-04:00

I guess we just had too much fun for mommy to stop and blog during Spring Break! (I do hope all our future Spring Breaks will be as fun...we have many ahead!) The highlight for the week was definately the Orlando Science Center. A great mecca for the 3 to 7 year old crowd! Their kids section was a great hands on experience as you can see:

They also were hosting a "Robot" exhibit (centered around the movie). J has definately inherited the gadget bug from his daddy. He was all over the building your own robot. Of course he wanted to go in and help the highschoolers who were building their bots for the battle of the robot event that is happening in a week. The center had set up a live workshop within the exhibit and J was ready to run right under the caution tape and get working! He was highly disappointed that they weren't letting everyone come in and build. The big boys bots look quite a bit more interesting than the plastic gadgets he had just assembled. In fact they looked like they were made out of many objects he's seen around daddy's shop and mommy's art room (we'd better watch out!)

School is back in swing and before you know it...summer will be here. I'm definately trying to savour the gentle rythm of this time before we step into elementary school next year.

spring break begins

2008-03-31T22:19:00.005-04:00

Did we even have winter? Here in good ol' FL one season just blurs into the next. I heard a radio dj experiencing euphoria over the new "spring" green popping up all over FL...what? As opposed to the 110 other shades of green that have been present for the last...oh, I don't know all year! I apologize! We are beginning to get hints of the summer to come and as many of you know, humidity and intense heat are not my friends. But I digress.

We've had a fun start to Spring Break. We're planning on laying low and staying out of all of the vacation destination spots. J and B decided they should hook up the old bike trailer to J's bike so he could pull B. Two determined little boys.

It took only two trips up and down the driveway to wear poor J out. B is no small 3 year old...he holds his own in the weight department. I'm thinking about hiring J out to run rickshaws during BikeWeek festivities next year?

It did rain this afternoon, however, not enough to leave sufficient puddles for endless hours of enjoyment. We therefore, had to pull out the sprinkler for entertainment between rainbursts.

And a few fun faces:

We'll be back with more from our adventures over Spring Break!

robots

2008-03-27T20:06:00.003-04:00

The latest and greatest attraction for the boys are robots....not any certain type of robots...more or less anything they construct from whatever "stuff" they can find out of mommy and daddy's "stash" and are allowed to drag off.

Here are the drawings...

J's

B's

He is risen...He is risen indeed!

2008-03-23T22:32:00.002-04:00

Happy Easter to all! It's been a busy weekend...so here are some photo highlights:

-the boys riding friend's toy 4wheeler...

- bounty after the hunt...

- J performs...

- ending the day with a walk to get the wiggles out

Well, the mommy has more pictures...but she is very tired and needs to get her beauty rest...seeing that she is over the age of 40 and has two young children....sweet dreams!

busy days

2008-03-22T22:42:00.004-04:00

It's been abusy couple of days...I haven't had much time to post...we've been having a great time with celebrations leading up to Easter. I'll have to post pictures tomorrow night...let's just say that today there was plenty of candy, cake, games, puppets and all round fun...the boys are snug as a bug in a rug...fast asleep.

Quick reflection on comments from the boys today:

B on seeing mommy dressed in her "woman at the tomb" costume," Mommy you're Jesus!"

Conversation with J on growing up and becoming a daddy (becoming a daddy is when a person grows up..I don't think it has anything to do with actually having children...I'm still trying to figure this one out):

J, "Mommy, I'm going to miss you when I become a daddy."

Mommy, "I will miss you too, but we will see each other and we will always love each other." (I proceeded to give him several examples of children growing up and still being in relationship with their parents, i.e. daddy and grandma, mommy and Mama J and Papa J)

J, "I think I don't want to be a daddy...I think I only want to be six!"

You're right buddy....let's just take it one step at a time! xoxoxoxoxox Mommy

and they're off!

2008-03-16T21:29:00.004-04:00

wow! My "babies" are growing up at a fierce speed. This past Friday, J rode his bicycle with no training wheels!The thing is...it took him two seconds to get it. Mommy was desperately trying to keep up to speed with his pedaling by running (don't laugh...it really wasn't pretty) I took about 10 paces and then let go out of sheer necessity. He glanced back to tell me not to let go, I yelled, "keep pedaling!" and that is the end of story. The look of accomplishment on his sweet face...what incredible joy it brings to my heart to see them accomplish something new! He's been off and riding all weekend long. I'm in awe seeing this kid ride his bike up the drive like a professional bmx biker (I see a few future sport addictions forming!)

B was right behind him wanting to try the bike with the training wheels. This evening daddy got the wheels straightened out and B was off...a little tentative at first but then...again, no stopping him!

Earlier this evening they decided to roll around and be silly in the weeds. J made the comment that, "the weeds have flowers...so they can make everything beautiful!" After dinner we enjoyed some time outside riding bikes and being silly.

Great news! Pappa J is home from the hospital! We love you very much Pappa and are glad you are doing so well. God is good all the time! Here is a picture from J:

kids say the darndest things

2008-03-12T21:03:00.002-04:00

My boys honestly keep me in stitches. Last week I told J we were going to play "hookey" from school because Bike Week would be in full swing. (Wednesday is the scheduled day for the famous coleslaw wrestling at the Cabbage Patch...don't even ask...it is as bad as it seems) During this time there are several thousand "motorcycle enthusiasts" who rumble into town for a week of motorcycle fun and frivolity. On the said Wednesday they all seem to be in our "neck of the woods". The traffic is horrendous....thousands of bikes and a 4-way stop at the intersection make for less than desireable driving conditions. Anyhooo....we skipped school to stay out of the frey.
Jump ahead to yesterday. J says to me, "Mom I want to play hockey". My response, "What?" (There is no ice within at least a 1000 miles) J replies, "Hockey, you know like we did last week and I stayed home from school." Silly I know, but he was so serious I couldn't help but smile. So if you ever need a real excuse as to why you couldn't make it in to work...just say you were playing "hockey"!

it starts young

2008-03-10T23:16:00.006-04:00

The boys and I were discussing who would be joining us for lunch today at the local fastfood/playland spot. There would be two little girls joining us L & M. J wasn't clear as to M's initial identity so I elaborated on how we knew her and from where. The following is the dialogue between B and J about M:

B says, "she's so cute!"

J glances at B and responds very seriously, "No, B, she's beautiful"

My heart skipped a beat, I got a knot in my throat and I thought....I am in soooooo much trouble!

It really does start early!

houston, we have lift off

2008-03-05T08:57:00.003-05:00

What a thrill! What joy! I've waited so long for this day. I thought it woulld never happen. I truly had given up hope. But joy of all joys...B pooped on the potty....free of bribing, force, tantrums....of his own accord...entirely self-motivated! He's growing up! (Please note: for a mother with small children this is a monumental occasion....only to be surpassed in awesomness by the actual birth of the child! Perhaps some of you have forgotten or have yet to experience this emotional rollercoaster.) I decided against posting any graphic photos. What I will post is a picture of B's friend who sat on his own potty while B did his business on the big potty.

Keep your fingers crossed ... that B and bunny continue to do their business on the potty.

camping!

2008-03-02T18:34:00.004-05:00

We've just returned from our weekend camping trip to Golden Head Branch State Park. What a great time. 11 kids, 10 adults, one dog, 7lbs of bacon, and 3 pots of coffee each morning .

Highlights:

- J kyaking by himself (he's growing up fast!)

- B climbing trees

- making new friends

- campfires

- being together

We've decided to pack up again and head out, just our family, for yet another adventure in the Florida wilderness this month. The boy's are in the tub...I've got to go get a photo of the ring that's going to be left behind! later fellow campers!

brrrrrrrr...baby it's cold outside

2008-02-28T22:53:00.004-05:00

Yes folks, Florida has actually had at least two, count them, two days in a row of cold weather. Actually a nip in the air...the need for jackets and for some closed toed shoes. It has not stopped the boys from spending time outdoors, however...
I'll have more pictures following the weekend. We are headed out tomorrow night for a weekend of camping. It's going to be a chilly one. We are looking forward to campfires, s'mores, hiking in the woods and the boys' all favorite pastime.....lots and lots of dirt! Where there is dirt...there are the den Dulk boys. Happy weekend everyone!

pancakes...of course

2008-02-26T22:12:00.006-05:00

so here is a snippet of our process this morning, preparing pancakes. Normally, mommy flies solo when making pancakes...but today there were helpers.

we had a nice batch of whole wheat pancakes (with a little pumpkin added) to freeze for a week's worth of breakfasts.

Finally, they were ready to be devoured. Nothing quite like pancakes to start the day.

They sure give growing boys lots...and lots of energy!

i'm grateful

2008-02-25T22:20:00.003-05:00

I realized I haven't been keeping up on my "41 Things I'm Grateful For" task. I am overwhelmingly grateful for my boys health. I think I tend to take it for granted and I need to remember what a true gift health really is...I'm thankful for strong legs that run, jump (even on my bed) and climb...for arms that can hug, reach and are strong....for eyes that can see, ears that hear, mouths that speak (wonderful, silly, funny, powerful words)...hearts that beat strong and minds that are curious, sharp and always thinking. The questions...the many questions...sometimes mindbending...but oh how wonderful that there are those questions...they give me the opportunity to share the wonders of the world that God created and they remind to stop and take time to wonder myself about this incredible world in which we reside.

The next time I'm stressed out about whatever... money, housework, schedules...I hope I can step away from it...take a walk outside...grab a handful of dirt, lay in the grass and look for cloud animals, collect pine cones or just go squish my toes in the mud and remember I am a child of God and what a wonderful world He's given me to enjoy!

the great outdoors

2008-02-23T21:09:00.005-05:00

Today was a day of all types of weather...it rained hard this morning and then the sun came out in full force this afternoon. The rain left, of course, its calling card...that is, its calling card for my boys: PUDDLES! In fact this a.m. when I told B that it was raining, his eyes got real big and he said, "there's going to be puddles!" B found himself in the bathtub today at least of 3 if not 4 times for either a partial or full bath. I had some fun with the camera today:

We also took a little trip out to the retention pond to catch "something"...they wanted tadpoles...but all I could come up with were tiny fish...they loved the adventure of it...we saw lot's of tiny fish, a live frog, a dead frog, some water skimmers...and something larger than the small fish started making movement as the sun began to set.

A GREAT day in the life of a boy!!!! We'll see in the morning which fish survive their temporary digs on the front porch! I didn't stop to think whether or not we would have any night visitors...hmmmmm.

hello dsl!

2008-02-23T16:20:00.002-05:00

I'm fast...I'm faster than fast....I am "dsl girl"! ta da! we finally have entered the true electronic age...no more dial up! Don't laugh...I've spent the last forever using dial-up and now I can leap massive e-mails in a singlebound, post pictures in my blog in less than an hour and surf, baby, surf like the rest of the computer world!
yahoo...to infinity and beyond!

bug bites

2008-02-21T21:41:00.006-05:00

Well, I've just spent the last half hour researching "chigger bites" on the web. People keep freaking out when they see B. "Is he alright?" "What's wrong?" I suppose the bites do look a bit chicken-pockish...perhaps I shoud make a sign for him to wear around his neck - "bugs bites only". He has bug bites on the side of his face and his forearm from camping. They are just bumps...I am being a good mommy and watching them...keeping them clean...keeping his nails cut. Of course trying to provide first aid for either of my boys is a lesson in hand to hand combat. It usually involves chasing them down to simply put calamine lotion on...because they are convinced that it's going to hurt. J has freaked out about having me take his temperature. The funny thing is...they are great at the doctor's office...no screaming...no carrying on. Go figure!

Here are some pictures from our latest camping trip:

B with the lizard he caught all by himself!

J and A trying to catch fish with their hands in the spring:

We had a great time! We're hitting the road again the last weekend of this month for some more time in the Florida woods!

the boys

2008-02-19T20:58:00.005-05:00

here are a few pics for friends and family

I'm starting to receive regular boquets from my sweet boys. Out here something is always blooming and if J sees it he's going to get it for his mommy!

I've enjoyed watching the relationship between these two grow. They both are always ready and willing to look out for each other!

Did someone say "mudpuddle"? You know have a better understanding of the title of my blog...like they say a picture is worth a thousand words!

winter?

2008-02-19T20:13:00.003-05:00

Once again today the weather played schitzophrenia. I truly enjoyed the morning crispness and slowly succumed to the sweat of the afternoon heat. Dressing for winter in Florida always keeps me perplexed. 99% of the time some sort of open toe shoe will suffice; flip-flop, sandals, mules. I usually end up feeling like some sort of fashion victim; i.e. sweater over short sleeve blouse, jeans (rolled up to capris) and flip-flops. It's February! I suppose growing up on Denver and knowing that the weather could change in an instant has prepared me to always be ready for anything.
We went camping this weekend to Alexander Springs outside Astor. It was great! The boys immediately made friends with the dirt and in no time there were roads and hills all over the campsite. B caught a lizard all by himself to put in his bug box. It actually didn't stay in the box much, he insisted on holding in quite a bit. I honestly think the thing may have passed away from too much "love".
I had no idea there was a natural spring that was open for swimming. The boys went in and had a fabulous time! The water was a bit chilly...72*. That didn't stop J from diving in and playing fish all afternoon. (Of course this is the same boy that has rolled around in the ocean on a frigid January day while everyone else had sweaters and hats on!) Even after soaking the afternoon away in the springs the boys still left a very intense ring around the bathtub! I am looking forward to another camping trip soon to this spot!

41 things

2008-02-09T19:08:00.000-05:00

Well, after many years as a blog vouyer, I have decided to join the masses and blog about my life. I must admit that I have started in stuck mode....however, it occured to me as I recently turned 41, that I must document something significant in my life. I set out to make a list of "41 Things I will Accomplish This Year!". However, sanity grabbed hold of me and I realized that list will only induce anxiety, frustration and a sense of overwhelming. I want something positive to focus on like my gratitude for the small things in life, to be in the moment of every day...taking time to pause and smell the roses...see the blessings all around. So, I'm going to blog this year about "41+ Things I Love". I believe this exercise will help me in my journey away from dramatic pessimism.

So how do I start my list? With my boys of course! There truly is no way to express the love of a mother for her children; the rollercoaster of emotion that even one hour can bring in a day is breathtaking.

My two boys are beautiful, funny, intense, kind, daring, smart and truly a gift from God. J is 5 and B is 3 and boy can they mix it up. They are also establishing a true bond of brotherhood and friendship and this brings me such joy. I love you boys with all of my heart!